Dear Paul,

Thanks for… well, there’s not much to thank you for. Just kidding, thanks for raising my best friend. Without you, there would be no Laila, and without Laila, what would I do?! Oh, and thanks for helping me develop my sense of humor when it comes to butts, farts, and toilet paper. I couldn’t go without making fun of your age. Although you don’t look half as old as my dad or Chrissy, you sure are old. There's one last thing I need to thank you for, thank you for being my second dad. Although your not my dad, you have taught me so much, and you always cheer me up when I’m down. I love being around you, you’re jokes, pranks, and stinky butt always crack me up. Oh, I lied I have one more thing to thank you for, thanks for always making fun of my dad, you do it so well, and it always brings a smile to my face. I know in our relationship all we do is joke, and make fun of each others butts, but I just want you to know, that you mean so much to me, and my family, and without you, the world would be dull and boring. I love you so much, Paul! Have a great poop, diarrhea, prank filled birthday. 

Lots of love, 

FIA FUNKLER