Decade 2
Ages 10-20
From Lauren,
Dearest PB,
It’s an amazing thing to age with someone... to meet as teenagers and learn about their childhood and their family. Hear crazy tales about those family friends that have been around forever. You swap stories as you forge through life, not fully realizing that the life you’re living will become its own fable that some day others will swap. And now here we are dear friend....at 50. Sharing a history that our girls will retell. Though time can feel like a treacherous trickster, I still see the exact same essence in you today that I saw in that boy at Strasberg 32 years ago. A kindred soul that suffered NO fools. A whip smart kid who was somewhat confused and annoyed the world wasn’t up to his speed. A young man who found much more meaning in what he had been challenged by than what had come easy to him. A man who loves fiercely and sees all of the beauty and heartbreak in this world. I will always see that boy... even as you hobble up to the mic to make a butt joke themed toast at my daughter’s wedding. You are an anchor my sweet friend, who is a grounding force for my entire family. I am so privileged to live along side you.
Big Love,
Lady B
From Steve,
When I first put eyes on Paul Bemesderfer, aged 15, GQ model, he was standing on the corner of Arch and Vine streets in front of Temple Beth El. Paul was waiting to board a big yellow BUSD bus to head off to our first Camp Kee Tov staff training. I hated him immediately. He had, I thought, everything that I did not have. Movie star good looks, perfect smile, a jawline for days. He was surrounded by girls and other boys, all laughing at his jokes and fawning for his attention. I, on the other hand, was a 15-year-old transplant from Pittsburgh, who knew absolutely no one, and to whom puberty had not been as kind. I immediately deemed it impossible for the two of us to ever be friends because clearly, he was going to be the reason I would never get a girlfriend, never be the ”funny guy” and probably doomed to spend the summer without a single friend. BUT, In some weird twist of CKT fate, Paul took an interest in me. He asked me a few questions, told me he thought I was funny, and after a few investigative conversations, we became fast friends. This friendly, funny, confident, light shining teenager who at first had intimidated the hell out of me, was now hypnotizing me with his charming nature. Like the rest of the counselors, I too wanted to stand around Paul, laugh extra loud at his jokes, and immerse myself in the warmth of his good nature. And in those first few encounters, I discovered one of Paul’s many superpowers. When talking to Paul about anything, sports, family, politics, entertainment, the future of the world… he makes me feel like I am the only person in the room and that he is keenly interested in my perspective on a particular matter. Even if he knows WAY more than me, he never makes me feel less than. In fact, he makes me feel seen, heard, and important. This gift, making others feel valued, is rare. When I reflect on our now 35-year-old friendship, I truly wonder, if Paul had not asked me those opening questions, had not told me I was funny, had not welcomed me into his circle of friends, how different my life today would be. You, Paul B, are a game-changer. Happy birthday, brother ❤
I love you,
Che
From Jennie,
Summer 1986. Interlochen. We were so far from home, far for me especially, 10 years old and in girls camp on my own. I knew you were all in boys camp if I needed you, caught glimpses of you at the canteen, doing your teenage thing. But I missed you all, you in particular, because I always kind of missed you back then. You--my cool, handsome, funny, elusive, edgy brother--the one I always wanted to figure out. I think I knew then that your eyes were always on the horizon, ready to take you away from home.
That was the summer that I somehow won an acting scholarship to return to camp the next year, which they announced in a big auditorium with all of the campers present. Boys and girls together meant that you were in the room somewhere. When they called my name, I went on stage to receive the award, people clapping, me disbelieving. And then, from the back of the room, as the claps were fading, I heard someone call out, "that's my sister!" I knew your voice, clear as day. I couldn't see your face, but I could hear you and feel you there. I was so proud. That was MY brother, making sure his voice was heard above the others, calling out from the last row. And I learned something about you that day. No matter how far away you are, no matter how much you need to lay down your own path in life, you are never far away in your heart. You are always looking out for the people you love most, always watching and seeing, never missing a thing. I knew then that you would always be there for me to fall into when I needed you, my mysterious brother, my protector, even from the back row.
Happy birthday Paul. I love you. Always have, always will.